Survivors' page

Welcome to this important part of our website.

This is the page for women and men abused by clergy, ministers or church leaders when children or adults. Your thoughts, views, pictures (photos/artwork) and poems should be heard and seen.

This page is our voice, your voice – survivors’ voices. Never to be silenced again. We look forward to hearing from you.

Survivor’s story

Ann Kennedy – artist/photographer/survivor
I am a clergy abuse survivor.

In my early twenties I joined a charismatic Catholic group. An American priest took me into a room to ‘pray over me’. He ‘laid hands on me’ not in the usual healing style … it was terrifying. I was a troubled young woman heading for years in the psychiatric system. He certainly knew whom to pick!

Nine years ago I reported him to his order. To my horror, they told me he’d been in a treatment centre twice to learn to ‘modify his ministry’. He wrote to tell me ‘he’d learned to shut the gates’, mmmmnnn!

“I went to the Archbishop who made many promises... ”

The religious order ignored my complaints so I went to the police. He faced a three hour interview but as there were no witnesses to my abuse and being so long ago no case resulted. He and the Order, the Marianists, denied it all. I went to the Archbishop who made many promises. He let me down on nearly all of them and nine years later, nothing has happened and no-one is the slightest bit interested.

During that time of challenge and finding my voice, my artwork was going very well. Funded by the Arts and Disability Forum in Belfast, I held an exhibition. But the artwork you on these pages was to be my last. I developed a neuromuscular disorder and I now use a wheelchair.

So I took up photography. I passed my driving test at 54 after a year driving, gave up smoking (40-60 a day!), liberated myself from psychiatry and all their drugs and decided to LIVE.

What should I say that’s helpful? Never give up seeking Justice. Sometimes though, one has to ‘let go’ if it is too tough.

Never give up seeking fulfilment. Creativity in any media is so GOOD for the soul - and write your story! God gave us this beautiful earth. A slow walk at dawn by the sea with my two dogs makes me feel good to be alive.

It may be a long road but I hope you find pure joy in nature, which surely won’t hurt us, unless a tree falls on us in a storm! sic.

Survivor's poem

Martin Ridge is a retired Garda who investigated many cases of child sex abuse in Donegal. These experiences affected him very profoundly .

He is a supporter and advocate of survivors and a member of Vote of the Faithful Ireland.

He is co-author of a book coming out soon - 'Breaking Silence', exposing an abuse scandal in Ireland. See News for more. Here is his poem:

Silent Pain
Silent pain that reigns within
My wish it would be forgotten
It weaves and ebbs like an eel
In a stream
Oh! But it is sad and rotten.
Like a tailor's needle with sharpened edge
That pulls through cloth forever
That is how you gored my childhood dreams
With your shameful acts of terror.
If my mind had wings that could fly and fly
Oh! I would let my pain fly away forever
But Alas, Alas there is no gleaming glow
That could erase the trembling pain of terror.
It’s like a slashing sword in a swirling wind
Where you gashed me with your reign of terror
Like a raging bull trapped in your ring
Where you speared and gored forever.
Like a thief in the night you robbed at will
And left scenes that won’t be forgotten
One’s dignity is a precious thing
That you destroyed, tore up, and up on it, left trodden.